Life Cycle Events at Kehillah
From baby blessings to b’nei mitzvah, from weddings to mourning and remembrance, Kehillah is here to hold you with care, clarity and community. Our clergy and lay leaders will guide you through each step so the ritual feels personal, accessible and grounded in our progressive values.
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Welcoming a child into your family is often a turning point for new parents, both in clarifying values and deepening a sense of identity. Many prospective parents get in touch to discuss big Jewish questions such as “Will my child be considered Jewish if the mother or father is not Jewish?” and “What about circumcision?”
Our rabbi is available to members and non-members for conversation and guidance at this stage. Kehillah North London follows the principles laid out by Liberal Judaism and its Beit Din, and we will explain these clearly so that you can make an informed decision about your child’s Jewish status and upbringing in the Jewish community.
Because becoming a parent is also a time for putting down roots and making local friends, we can connect you with members who have babies in your neighbourhood. You are welcome to breastfeed during all Kehillah activities and religious services.
For families exploring Jewish learning, our cheder offers a warm, accessible pathway into community life, with classes that nurture curiosity, confidence, and a joyful relationship with Jewish tradition.
Birth and Parenting
No child needs to “have” a bar or bat mitzvah. They simply become bar or bat, a son or daughter of the commandment, on reaching Jewish adulthood, which in the progressive world is at 13 for both boys and girls.
Children who become bar or bat mitzvah at our Kehillah have either grown up in our cheder or joined us and attended regularly for a minimum of two years. The big day is booked around 12 to 18 months in advance, chosen either for the Shabbat after their 13th birthday or because the Torah portion or time of year holds special meaning. Most young people can read Hebrew before they start the process, but some have not yet begun. All of them manage to learn.
Alongside continuing cheder, they meet with a tutor we recommend once a week or once a fortnight for the nine months before the big day. They learn to read their Torah portion with and without vowels and explore its underlying meanings. As a family, you choose how to involve relatives, and our spiritual leader will guide you on roles for Jewish and non-Jewish family members in the service.
Bar or bat mitzvah is a profound experience for the young person and their families. In a small community like ours, every single one is treasured and makes a lasting impact.
To celebrate a b’nei mitzvah with Kehillah, the family needs to be members, and we ask that membership continues for at least two years. This gives time for your young person to grow within the community, build relationships with our leaders, and weave their learning into regular Kehillah life. We also invite a contribution toward clergy time and the shared resources that support your simchah.
B’nei Mitzvah
Your wedding is the first step in your future as a married couple. Every decision you make, and how you make it, reflects how you will meet the challenges of the years ahead. A Jewish wedding can take place in our regular venue or at a venue of your choice, and it can be held in the evening or outdoors. Both same-sex and opposite-sex couples marry in our Kehillah. As in other synagogues, weddings in our community are performed by our spiritual leader and overseen by our Marriage Secretary, who handles the civil and legal aspects of your wedding.
A Jewish wedding is essentially contracted by the two partners. Under the chuppah, the wedding canopy supported on four poles, one or two rings are given and received to signal the willingness of each partner to enter into the betrothal. During the ceremony there are two cups of wine, one for betrothal and one to mark the joy of marriage through the seven wedding blessings. The contemporary Liberal Judaism ketubah, or marriage document, is read to everyone present. It is an egalitarian promise by both partners to love, support, honour and sustain each other.
Jewish wedding practice grows out of a rich and fascinating history, and our rabbi meets with each couple over a series of sessions so that you can understand the tradition and make informed choices about what will happen on the day.
If one partner is not Jewish, we will work with you creatively. If you are planning a civil ceremony, we will help you bring your Jewish values, beliefs and your shared vision of Jewish life into the wedding day itself.
For a wedding with Kehillah, the couple needs to be members, and we ask that you remain members for a minimum of two years. This ensures your ceremony is grounded in real relationship and pastoral support before and after the day itself, and reflects that we are a community rather than a standalone service. We also kindly request a contribution to help cover clergy time and the communal resources involved in preparing your chuppah.
Weddings
If you are thinking about conversion, even if you are unsure and simply want to learn more, please get in touch with our rabbi. She will listen, explain the process clearly, and be honest about what the best next steps might be, including the prospect of circumcision for men.
Once it seems that converting to Judaism is right for you, our rabbi will open a file for you at the Liberal Beit Din. You will be asked to attend Shabbat and festival services regularly for a minimum of twelve months. For many people the journey is around a year and a half, sometimes more. During this time you will learn to read classical Hebrew, follow services, and recite blessings for festivals and Shabbat in your home.
It is not as hard as you might think. You will join a year of adult education classes to learn about Jewish life, history, festivals, theology, and our big ideas. You will also take an active part in our community and make friends here.
Once both you and our rabbi feel you are ready, she will invite you to write two essays for submission to the Beit Din, and a date will be set some months in advance. On the day, you will meet the three rabbis of the Beit Din, with the support of our rabbi and, we hope, your friends and future family. Although not strictly required, everyone in our community who converts also immerses in the mikvah. Finally, we will welcome you as a member of our Kehillah on a Shabbat morning following your conversion.
Converting to Judaism is not about changing who you are at your core, although it may shape you in meaningful ways. Most of all, it is about joining a people, entering the stream of Jewish history, and belonging.
Those beginning the conversion journey with Kehillah need to be members, and we ask that membership is maintained for at least two years. This allows time for regular participation, learning, and belonging to take root, so your journey is held by a community that knows you. We also ask for a contribution to support clergy time and the community resources that accompany this process.
Conversions
Judaism does not see divorce as a denial of the sacred. It recognises it as a sad but sometimes necessary part of life. The Torah includes explicit instructions for divorce, so the legal form of Jewish divorce is very ancient.
Liberal Judaism, rooted in a long tradition of religious reform, accepts a state civil divorce as ending a marriage. We do not require a religious divorce for a couple to remarry in our synagogue.
If you are a divorced woman, it may still be in your best interests to obtain a get, a religious divorce, and our spiritual leader can advise you on how to do this. If you are a man who was previously married in an Orthodox synagogue, we require that you have granted your ex-wife a religious divorce so that she is also free to remarry.
Divorces
Jewish rituals around death express what is most noble in our tradition. Once a person dies, their body is handled with utmost care and respect. In this vulnerable state they can do no more for us, and we do everything for them. Every person is buried in the same simple plain wooden coffin, dressed in simple linen shrouds.
The funeral itself is brief. The eulogy is truthful and helps those present begin to mourn by capturing the essence of who the person was. There are no flowers or adornments. The straightforward nature of the ritual brings home the reality of loss. That person is truly gone.
After the funeral, mourners enter a set-apart time for seven days, suspended from ordinary life. Family, friends and community visit, and prayers are held in the home. This stage is called shiva, which means seven. Many people now sit shiva for one or two days, and our Kehillah will support you to observe as many of the seven days as you wish.
The loss is marked again at thirty days after death, and then each year on the anniversary, the yahrzeit, when their name is read in synagogue and the community recites Kaddish.
Planning ahead brings peace of mind for you and care for those you love. We strongly encourage our members to join the Progressive Judaism funeral scheme, which covers the costs of burial. Progressive Judaism also permits cremation. We have two cemeteries, at Edgwarebury and Cheshunt, and cremations can take place anywhere.